Swinging Clubs – Guidelines
Where do we begin, vanilla to swinger
Adult lifestyle questions you should ask

Should we, shouldn't we - Go from Vanilla to beginner swinger. It is very important that you speak to your partner openly about your desire to swing. Honestly outlining why you want to, what you hope to achieve, how often you think you may want to engage in swinging activities

If you think swinging is going to be a great way to find someone to replace your existing partner forget it. Swinging have very stable relationships and will quickly tell each other if you overstep your bounds or suggest that they should overstep theirs.

The swing scene is based on a frank exchange of intimate information, honesty with each other, sincerity in the couples commitment to the existing relationship and is an expression of their respect for each other as individuals.

If you connect online with another couple tell your partner about it. Swinging is all about sharing and is not about furthering your own interests or making separate contacts. Ideally online swinging time should be spent together, although work schedules and other commitments do not always make this possible.

Decide whether you are going to swing openly (this is who we are) or discretely (tell no one). Just a note if you have decided to be discrete it is advisable to apply that discretion across the board - do not pick and choose who to tell and who not, you will only end up confused and constantly fear that one of your confidants might slip up and accidentally tell someone that you would prefer not know your private life.

  Swinging Clubs – Guidelines - Limitations and Limits
  What are your personal limitations?    Are you sure?

Setting the tone for your personal comfort zone - Decide in advance, the guidelines you set yourselves will be a great help in finding like minded partners with whom you can feel comfortable.

1) What level of sexual encounter you feel fine with - Are you looking to meet others in person or do you just want to add a little excitement to your existing relationship. How much excitement - do you just want to talk with others, just talk and exchange photos or meet up to take things further.

2) So you want to meet people - ask yourself do you want a one off encounter or are you looking for long term friendships. If you are thinking swinging (once you have convinced your partner) will be a neat way to get to sleep with your partners' sister, brother, friend etc., as part of a swinging night, think again. It is likely you will loose your partner, your friends and your self respect.

3) How far will you go - Soft swing (Same room sex with another couple but you do not switch partners) or Full swing (Sex with partners other than and including your own) Is penetration Ok? What's your stance on same sex sex. Are there any sex acts that you would not wish anyone other than your partner to perform on you. Are there any sex acts that you would not wish your partner to see you perform or be seen performing.

4) Before setting out to a club, private party or to meet a new couple. Let your appreciation for each other show through, nothing is more attractive then seeing the love two people have for each other.

If you are sure you both agree then proceed on your chosen course of action.

Now you are ready find other swingers.

  Swinging Clubs – Guidelines - What If
  What else do we need to know ?    How to plan for positive swinging experiences

Always figure out in advance what your responses will be to these often encountered beginners dilemas

Meeting someone you know – couple

Meeting someone you know - only one half of the couple
with an unknown party

If you are in the swinging lifestyle it is expected that others will respect your wishes and keep your participation in the lifestyle undisclosed. Likewise you should respect other peoples' privacy, even if you operate an open policy.

Not being in agreement about a couple

I like him but my partner doesn't like her or vice versa

It's my monthly

Pressure to do more than you want

Or you thought you would have fun but it's turning
into a nightmare and now you would like to leave

It is usual for couples to have a set of keywords that they use within the general conversation (rather like a secret code) that tells their partner what they would like to do without causing embarrassment or offense. What words, phrases or actions will you use to silently communicate with your partner.

Things are fabulous, what about the baby sitter
did you check it would be OK if you are late
or do not expect to get home that night

Agree not to disagree - no one wants