By telling the truth - what do you want, what do you think
you will gain, how will it enhance your relationship and discussing how you will handle situations
before they arise you will be better prepared to communicate your feelings openly and without fear of your partners
reaction should any emotions overwhelm you. The best way to handle jealousy is to ensure you reassure your partner as to what it is that you find attractive about them and to re affirm your love for them. Before, during and after and of course don't forget to thank them for sharing the experience with you. Listen to their concerns, it is OK to have concerns, don't dismiss their feelings as silly or small minded. Be honest about what is making you feel uncomfortable and try get to the root of the issue, then work towards a solution together. There is no on off switch it takes time, just like in any other emotional situation. Suprisingly enough it is usually one partner who wants to try swinging, as all that free sex is anticipated they press their partner into the first encounter. This is usually when something unexpected happens, their partner has an amazing time. Unfortunately because up to that point they had only considering swinging from their perspective, they now feel rejected. Why - because they felt ignored, the reality did not match the fantasy, they were not the center of attention, they feel less secure in the relationship as a result of seeing their partner enjoying and actively participating in sexual acts with someone else, they see their partner doing something or are suddenly confronted by the desire to engage in a sex act that forces them to re-examine their own attitude towards that specific sex act. It should also be noted that many women in the lifestyle are bisexual. Although it may be a great turn on for you to imagine your partner with another women, do not push her into this act nor should you suggest others initiate this type of action for your gratification, this type of behaviour is very much looked down on. When your partner wants to explore that side of her sexuality she will with a partner of her choice. Also it should be noted that making bisexual advances to other men is not the lifestyle way, unless you have specifically agreed to meet with couples looking for this type of encounter too. Of course we know you wouldn't do it ... but the night of the encounter is not the night for your partner to discover this side of your sexuality. |